Boys and Girls

In the first five years there are virtually no differences in physique and growth rates between boys and girls. They have the same endowment of bones, muscles and nerves and on average they are almost the same in height and weight, although, as with everything else, we all know of individual exceptions to this. Yet on some measures of physical skills there do seem to be differences between the sexes. On short runs, girls are faster than boys at the age of five years. Boys are better at throwing and catching and seem to have more strength; girls are better at jobs that involve judgement and precision such as playing hopscotch. In every playgroup you visit you will see groups of boys doing heavily physical things such as running about, rough and tumble, playing with cars, trains or large-scale layouts; and you will see groups of girls arranging the Wendy corner, reading books, doing jigsaws and helping the teacher.

The question of sex differences is a very controversial one and every family has to decide for themselves how they want to bring up their children. Just because research might show that girls are more likely to become scientists if they are given more opportunity for play with numbers or building toys is no reason for you to deprive your little daughter of a much loved doll or deny her the opportunity of helping you in the kitchen. Even scientists need to learn to cook and look after babies. Similarly, just because research suggests boys can throw and catch balls better than girls is no reason for you to exclude your daughter from games of cricket or rounders. Physically, she is just as well equipped as your son, and like him, just needs the chance to practise to become a bowler or batter. The reverse is also true: if your son is very keen to take dancing lessons don't hit the idea on the head because you think it is not the sort of thing a boy should be interested in.

The question of sex differences has been raised in this particular chapter because the very different ways in which we treat boys and girls are most marked in the amount of physical freedom or restriction we give them. Running, climbing, fighting, riding bikes and playing ball games are all tolerated or encouraged in boys, but may not be in the families of some girls. Similarly, quiet, orderly, table-top activities which involve co-operation with an adult are often felt to be more acceptable for girls. There are no physical reasons why this should be so - although you should remember that your child will have considerable pressure from his or her friends to behave in the same way as they do.

However, it is important for you to give both your boys and your girls opportunities to do whatever physical activities they are capable of. If you do not encourage your son to talk to adults, take care of other children, help you to cook the lunch and learn the basics of cookery, he will miss out on important chances to learn skills he will need later in life. If your daughter never gets the chance to climb trees, or if you never buy her a bike, she will not get the chance to become physically daring and adventurous.

One of the most valuable reasons for becoming physically skilled is the self confidence it can give a child. If he feels comfortable in his body, if he feels he can make it do what he wants it to, then he can be helped to be a more confident person. Both boys and girls need to be brought up to accept and be proud of their bodies. There is no genetic or physical reason why little girls should be encouraged to be timid and shy, modest and passive, quiet and still; and there is no genetic or physical reason why little boys should be the opposite. You need to give them the opportunities to do all the activities they might be capable of. It is then up to them to take what opportunities they want to develop into the person they are going to be.