Feeding Second and Subsequent Babies

You have the benefit of experience, know what to expect and have gained confidence from bringing up one child whether on breast- or bottle-feeding. The differences with the second lie in the reaction of your first child to the new baby, your own desire to do the best by both children and the fact that feeding now has to be fitted into a much more complicated routine. You cannot always feed your baby at the time you expect him to be hungry because you want to see to another child’s needs. The best policy is to feed him early, rather than hope he will last and then have to cope with a screaming baby in the background.

When you talk to your older child about the arrival of a new baby, talk also about how he will be fed. If you plan to breastfeed, photographs of you breastfeeding your first child can be a great help. He is quite likely to want to have an experimental suck himself at some stage and try feeding a teddy or doll from his own nipples. The brother or sister of a bottle-fed baby is likely to want their own bottle and to try feeding toys. Both reactions are quite normal. One mother described how ‘My daughter was always shoving her doll up her jumper in the greengrocer’s or post office and latching it on to her tummy button saying she was giving it some milk.’

There is no evidence that breastfeeding provokes more jealousy in an older child than bottle-feeding, but because it is such an intimate act, mothers are often anxious and feel almost a sense of betrayal to the older child. The answer lies in giving the older child a period of exclusive attention ahead, although not immediately prior, to a feed, and being prepared with distractions while feeding. But it is a fact that however much you involve the first child in the care of the baby he is unlikely to be captivated by feeding sessions six times a day, and if a child shows signs of jealousy he can pick feeding times to be particularly disruptive.

Make sure you always have a potty, drink and small snack readily to hand and keep a treasure chest of interesting knick-knacks to be brought out at feeding times only. Boxes of old buttons or jewellery, different books from the library or special crayons are useful. Try swapping toys with friends and change the ‘treasure’ regularly – be innovative, they do not have to be new and expensive, just different. Empty margarine tubs can be stacked, or cut out to make a large hole to thread string through, or left with the lid on but with holes big enough to post conkers, stones or shells through. Breastfeeding mums have the advantage of a free hand to cuddle, draw pictures or turn pages. Older children may like cassettes or records, or you can time feeds to coincide with favourite television programmes, but avoid sending them off into a room on their own or they may feel excluded. Often just making them cosy beside you with a favourite blanket or teddy and talking, singing or telling them a story about when they were a baby can make feeding times less likely to be an occasion for trouble.