Touch

We learn through our eyes and ears, but we feel through our skin. We will learn through feeling too, and this is particularly true of young babies whose vision and hearing are still limited, and even more for blind children. However, much less attention seems to be paid to the sense of touch than other senses.

The skin gives us a great deal of information about what is going on around us - whether our environment is hot or cold, wet or dry. A most important function of the skin is to control temperature. In warm conditions the blood vessels expand, bringing blood to the surface of the body and cooling it. We also excrete sweat though the skin and as the sweat evaporates our bodies are kept cool. In cold weather the blood vessels contract to conserve the body's heat. New babies cannot control their temperature through their skin as effectively as older babies, children and adults. That is why it is important to keep them in a constant warm temperature, as well as keeping them warmly wrapped up when the weather is cool. For more about keeping your baby in the right temperature click here

Our skin also tells us, through its sensitive nerve endings, whether the sensations we are receiving are painful or pleasurable: a caress is pleasant, a blow is not; warmth is pleasant, sunburn is not. Pain is an important signal of danger to the brain. When we get a sudden blow, cut or other painful contact we instinctively recoil. Pain also indicates illness and damage, and crying can be a sign that your baby is suffering. Always check for uncomfortable bumps in the cot, a sore bottom or a tightly constricting garment if your baby is miserable.

Babies and young children have more sensitive skin than adults. What seems pleasantly warm bathwater to you may feel scaldingly hot to a baby. What seems a pleasantly cool breeze to you may be really chilly to a baby. A firm grasp of a toddler's hand may actually hurt him quite a lot and you cannot really blame him for protesting. A good general rule to remember is that babies and young children often feel things more intensely than adults. Although they are resilient and well equipped for survival, they can easily be hurt so they need to be treated gently and sensitively.

As well as responding to the environment around you, the skin is affected by the emotional state inside the person. Blushing and sweating when you are embarrassed, excited or afraid are obvious examples. Some children with skin diseases such as eczema, psoriasis and acne can be made worse by emotional stress, and emotional upset may even be the trigger to an attack. When you are happy your skin looks glowing and healthy; when you are miserable it can look sallow and lifeless. The colour, condition, feel and state of the skin are important signs as to whether or not a person is well. If your baby's skin changes very markedly and suddenly in any way - whether it is a change of colour or temperature, or if there is a rash - take him to the doctor, especially if there are other symptoms such as fever or loss of appetite.

The Importance of Contact

As soon as a baby is born one of the first things a mother does, provided she is well herself and has access to her baby, is to reach out and touch him. Research has shown-that many mothers have a systematic way of doing this - starting with finger-tip touching of hands and feet, and then going on to stroke the baby all over with the palms of their hands. Of course whether you do this depends on whether you have the baby near you and whether he is naked or wrapped up. Nowadays many doctors and midwives deliver the baby straight on to the mother's stomach so that they are lying skin to skin straight away.

The importance of touch to babies and their parents is beginning to be emphasised more and more. It is certainly true that many mothers, given the choice, love to hold and stroke their babies, to press their cheek against their baby's cheek, to smell and even to lick their babies - after all humans are animals too. They want to be as close as they possibly can to their baby's body.

Young babies are also soothed by touch. They like to be held firmly or wrapped up securely. When they are miserable, being carried around in a sling in close contact with their mother's or father's body can sometimes cheer them up and send them off to sleep. Holding them against your shoulder, so that their stomach and chest are against you, is often especially soothing. Gently stroking their stomach, limbs or temples can often calm them and, as with other rhythmic behaviour like rocking and singing, can get them off to sleep. This need for comfort through cuddling and touching does not stop with babyhood. A sympathetic touch - just a grasp of the arm or a stroke of the head - can make adults as well as children feel happier and more confident.

Because children frequently have to be carried and have things done for them they automatically come in for a lot of touching, but special forms of touching such as cuddles, a kiss or throwing up in the air, are ideal forms of reward for children, much better than sweets. When your child is being peaceful or co-operative, remember to pat him on the head or give him a hug. If he is having a tantrum, however, cuddles may infuriate him even more: it may be better to stay with him until he has calmed down, and then to touch him gently, perhaps just by holding his hand.

Individual Differences

Many experienced mothers or nurses will tell you that some babies are more cuddly than others. Some babies curl cosily into your body while others go stiff and rigid, take their feeds in a businesslike ten minutes and want to get off your lap. Some adults are like this too - including mothers. It seems to be a matter of personality and it is no good quoting research at a baby who does not like people grabbing him all the time! If you have a non-cuddly baby or child, or if you are a non-toucher yourself, don't waste precious energy feeling guilty about it. It should become clear to you from other sections of this book that babies and parents learn and receive mutual pleasure from all the senses in hundreds of different ways. If your baby does not like being on your lap, he may love sitting opposite you in a babychair while you talk to him. If you do not want to carry your baby around in a sling all the time, dont worry. Perhaps the father can do the carrying instead of you, or there might be a grandmother or friend around who does like cuddling and carrying. You can give your baby what you feel you want to give him - it might be conversation or games or outings. However, touching and carrying and cuddling are absolutely unavoidable with human babies for many months and even years. If you feel you are not getting any pleasure out of these things and that you see your baby as a burden, do talk to somebody about it. Your doctor may be able to help you regarding it.

One of the most important sensory experiences for a baby is through his tongue and mouth. Sucking is not only necessary to obtain milk, it is also a source of comfort and satisfaction for a baby (also see "The Big Decision - breast or bottle?" ). Once a baby can begin to hold things in his hands, he automatically puts almost everything to his mouth for further exploration. By about nine months a baby may still put things in his mouth, but he will show that he is also able to appreciate the sensation of different textures which he can touch with his hands - stroking a pet, putting his fingers in his food, playing with sand or water. As he grows you can help to develop his understanding of different materials in his environment, both natural and manmade, through everyday experience and play.

If your baby develops an attachment to a toy, blanket or other object as a `comfort' object you will see clearly how his sense of touch is being exercised. Not only will he clutch the comforter to him or enjoy stroking it, he will often pull it across his face or hold it against a cheek. Later, if he inadvertently comes across the same texture in a fabric when he is tired - a similar silky or soft piece of material for example - he may immediately clutch it in the same way and show other going-to-sleep habits such as thumb sucking. Your baby naturally explores and tests out the textures of rattles and other toys and as his awareness grows will increasingly enjoy playing with the water in his bath. Look for textures and sensations to introduce in play - being aware that young babies automatically put most things in their mouths - so your child experiences hard followed by soft, rough/smooth, angular objects like bricks and round ones like balls. When you are out in the garden or park let him touch the roughness of tree bark, scrumple green leaves and crunch crackly autumn ones. You sometimes see parents getting angry with small children for grubbing around in the earth getting dirty, but while it is understandable 'that parents don't want children covered in mud or worse after every outing it is also part of a child's natural curiosity continually to explore and discover.